Effortful Control – Magic key for raising children

 

Child & Computer

Child & Computer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Does it happen to your child that he has an important assignment to finish, yet he can’t resist watching his favorite show on television.

 

Do you find your child losing his temper even when he realizes the consequences attached to it?

 

Does it happen to you too when you give in the temptation of eating that extra piece of cake or sleeping merrily in your gym hour?If we or our kids do it regularly,we need to assess our effortful control.

 

EFFORTFUL  CONTROL is the ability to do what we don’t want to do and the ability to not do what we eagerly want to do at that point of time.

 

We need to condition our minds to rationally decide upon our actions and teach our kids to develop effortful control.It begins with toilet training of the child and continues throughout the life.A child needs to be made  to understand that he can’t wear his favorite dress everyday or eat a pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

 

A tween needs to realize that she can’t apply makeup or wear jewelry to school.A teen needs to understand that he can’t spend all his waking time with his friends.

 

We as parents need to develop effortful control ourselves(bye-bye extra cheese and extra sleep).We need to communicate clearly and incessantly to our children to keep a check on their emotions and actions.

 

Each time I hear about a girl committing suicide, an adolescent colliding in speed with a vehicle,a teacher abusing a student in a fit of rage,a senior going overboard during  rampant ragging sessions in college,I tell myself to teach effortful control to myself and those around me.

 

Look at the Moon.Imagine what will happen if it refuses to rotate around earth out of boredom or gets delayed in waxing and waning as he was busy on Facebook.

 

The 4-2-1 syndrome

Fatherhood, By Robert Scoble

Fatherhood, By Robert Scoble (Photo credit: Thomas Hawk)

The number of children suffering from the 4-2-1 syndrome is on a rise or it could be called a 4-2-2 syndrome too.Well, it refers to four over indulgent grandparents and two busy parents taking care of one (or two) child. This over attention and over protection would certainly harm the child

When I talked about Grand Parenting, some parents talked about this over showering of love by the grandparents.

I, a believer of Moon Parenting, would repeat,”BALANCE is the key.”

Communicate with your parents and parents-in-law about the common goal-raising balanced children who can feast as well as fast with equal ease.Remind them that they were never  lenient and indulgent as parents and that you appreciated that.

We need to find new ways to make our children realize that money doesn’t grow in credit cards and happiness doesn’t actually mean eating a happy meal.Grand Parents come in really handy to drive this point home provided we can work as a wonderful flock of doves who fly in a V-Shaped formation.The dove flying in the front helps the dove flying behind him as his wing movement reduces the effort of  the dove back in line by 30 percent.When the leading dove gets tired, the dove in the back replaces him to maintain the momentum .

Hail Team Parenting.It is fun and fruitful.