What Type Of Parent Are You ?

My Latest article that was first published on BabyDestination on 17th May, 2016

What Type of Parent are You?

What Type of Parent are You.png

We generally believe that our thoughts make our words and our words make our actions. We act after we think. But most of our thoughts are shrouded in a fear of ‘what if’ before we act.
Before sitting for an exam or interview, we think ‘what if I don’t get through’.
Before investing our money in a business, we think ‘what if I lose it?’
Before admitting our love for someone, we think ‘what if he/she rejects me?’
Before delivering a speech, we think ‘what if I get ridiculed?’

It is alright to think about worst case scenarios but fretting over negative outcomes all the time is like inviting ripples of fear in the river of our life.
We not only think about negative ‘what if’s’ we tend to start believing them to an extent that it impacts our performance.
The more we think about negative outcomes, the more fearful we become.
Fearful individuals are fearful parents.

Super Parents are parents who value achievement and splendid performance in every walk of life. For them, outcome matters.
As a result, they suffer from fear of future. They scare their children to an extent that they become permanently anxious. Their expectations skyrocket and their children feel the pressure of those expectations. They start feeling that failure is a crime and should be avoided.

Bulletproof Parents protect their children from every obstacle and try to make their life problem free. They are scared that something might harm their children. Fear of pain, physical or emotional makes them over cautious. Their fear makes their children indecisive and dependent on their parents.

Yes Parents want to be known as cool, understanding parents who agree to everything that their children do or demand. They suffer from a fear of rejection by their own kids. As a result, children become overconfident and unrealistic. They don’t learn to face harsh realities of the ways of the world.

Designer Parents believe in luxury as a synonym for life. They value product experiences which are the most expensive and they give you a social edge. They provide the most expensive lifestyle for their children as they suffer from fear of social pressure. They want to establish their uniqueness by showing off their purchasing power. Their children are materialistic and brand conscious. They fear misery and frugality as they feel comfortable in excesses only.

Polarised Parents value their individuality more than anything else. As a result, they fear the loss of their freedom if they make a cohesive parenting plan. They rigidly stick to their opinions and fail to mentor their children. The confused children are lonely and fear being left hanging on a cliff.

Think if you are fearful as a Parent. Ask yourself if most of your decisions germinate from a seed of fear.

Stop raising your children with a daily dose of fear. Your fearful upbringing will surely make your children risk averse and mediocre which would be the biggest disservice to them and the nation.
Let go of the Fear of Failure. Teach them to welcome Failure.
Let go of the Fear of Pain. Teach them to stand up to turmoil.
Let go of the Fear of Rejection. Teach them to be confident.
Let go of the Fear of Loss of Freedom. Teach them to empathize and adapt.

Have a look at My latest Amazon Bestseller E-Bookon Parenting:
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What did you think about ‘What type of parent are you ?’ Share your thoughts with us in the comments section

Am I still a Bulletproof Parent?

 

Candles spell out the traditional English birt...

Candles spell out the traditional English birthday greeting (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Last weekend ,my daughter was invited for a birthday party and I dread these invitations.First, I don’t know the child’s parents.Second, I keep waiting for a call from the mother who is organizing this party in the gaming zone of a posh mall.Third, my daughter wants to go .Another concerned mother calls to check if i am sending my child with a small paper invitation from the classmate who has told them that they have to be there.

 

After lot of pondering, we decide to take turns to stay in the mall till they have the party.I decide to drop both the girls while she chooses to pick them up .I stay in the mall for one hour, browsing books(in the store closest to the gaming zone) while the other mother comes for the next hour.(The card says they the party will last for two hours).When the other mother reaches to pick up the kids, the hosts had already left and the children (sixteen in total) were busy deciding on their prizes from the points won.

 

I took a pledge that I won’t send her for any birthday party till I know the parents well enough that I could tell them to stay with the invited children till the last kid is picked up.

 

Am I a Bulletproof parent or others are islands who just care about themselves?

 

Are You a BULLETPROOF PARENT?

If you went out for a three day holiday and your child missed school, he would have some school work backlog.would you do the work for him?

If your 10 year old is not able to adjust with one of his new classmates, would you write a note to the class teacher?

If you teenaged daughter gets into an argument on the school bus,would you start dropping her to school?

I admit, Iam a bulletproof parent and I am not proud of it.

Bulletproof Parents want to give a problem free life to their children by trying to sweep away all the problems from their path.They protect their children in the initial years, shield them during the tween age, start spying in the teen years and try to somehow remain relevant when they turn professional.

Dear bulletproof parents, don’t hold them so tightly close that they don’t fall at all.When they grow up, they will neither let you hold them nor will know how to balance themselves.YOU love your children immensely and you are very dependable too.

would you like to see children who are risk averse , indecisive and dependent, who neither innovate nor initiate?