P & L Lessons from Virat Kohli

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I accept that I am not a big cricket fan. But I watched the second inning of India v/s Australia match held on 27th March, 2016 during T-20 World Cup.

After watching Yuvraj, Virat and MSD play, everyone was in awe of this superb player Virat.

A patient individual, a supportive team player, an attentive listener, a dependable team member, a fitness enthusiast and an effective communicator.

PARENTING & LEADERSHIP LESSONS FROM VIRAT KOHLI.

1. Virat was patience personified on the crease. He persevered on each ball and collected ones and twos diligently with all the calmness of the world. Though he knew that they needed more runs, he patiently worked his way up. He looked completely unfazed by pressure. As any senior leader or a parent would do, he didn’t let the pressure mount up on him or atleast didn’t show it.

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2.When Yuvraj got injured, any player would have gone anxious. Not Virat. In his speech after the match, Virat emphasized on Yuvi’s contribution and highlighted that Yuvraj made valuable runs and then decided to go. Every organisation wants results at any cost but great leaders will value their team members even if they under perform sometimes. Parents should also be as supportive and accommodating of their children as Kohli was. We mercilessly make the other person feel unwanted / less useful if he is not performing at his best. Virat didn’t do so even during crucial moments. Leaders and Parents in us, please take note.

3.Virat himself acknowledged during his speech that Dhoni calmed him down otherwise he would have become overzealous. Virat listened to Dhoni’s advice with mindfulness and controlled himself. It is not easy to listen to anyone when you are a celebrated player yourself. It is far more difficult to accept that your senior helped you calm down and contributed to your performance. If team members and children could become mindful listeners, organisations and families would be in happier space.

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4. Virat looked dependable and proved his mettle as a dependable member of the team. His demeanor was full of responsibility but in a subtle manner. His passion and dedication was visible when his knees touched the ground after victory and he thanked god but he didn’t wear his contribution on his sleeve, even for a second.

We start shouting about our contribution to our organisation and our family from every cliff but Virat looked completely consumed by his desire to make every ball count.

5. The exemplary running between the wickets by Virat and Dhoni manifests the importance of physical fitness which can be achieved only by sweating it out each day. Virat conveyed the importance of discipline and exercise very simply, when he said “That is what one goes daily to gym for”.

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6. I appreciated Virat not only for his cricket skills but also for his excellent communication skills. He conveyed the team-spirit and the consistent effort of all the players without being arrogant. He spoke with honesty and clarity – two important traits conspicuous by their absence from most verbal exchanges. He started by thanking the crowd. He was overwhelmed, yet spoke like a master storyteller – evoking emotions in the heart of every listener.

 

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What is common between a Football team Coach, a CEO and a Parent?

Football PlayingA football team coach could be a successful player himself or he might have started coaching when his professional career didn’t scale great heights.  A successful player turned coach would have more difficulty shedding his ego than the one who is only a successful coach. A sports team coach needs to shed his ego completely in order to manage mammoth egos of players.

A CEO of today can’t retain talent if he throws his weight around. As hierarchical echelons are biting the dust in new shared spaces offices, team members expect their superiors to be guides, not bosses. Experience in terms of years has lost the importance it used to carry. More openness to be a constant learner and keeping haughtiness at bay would make a CEO successful today.

My mother-father could demand obedience and get yes as an answer from me without any question. My ego feels so embarrassed when my daughter tells me to stop fretting over exams. She asks me ‘why’ for so many things in a week that I wouldn’t have asked in my whole childhood. As a mother, I am as old as she is.

We need to shed our inflated egos as coaches, leaders or parents.

A coach is coach because of the team; a parent is a parent because of the children. We got a chance to learn before them as we were born before them which is hardly an achievement.

The more humble and giving we become as a coach, a CEO or a parent, the more are our chances of accomplishing great results.

All the three need to observe each of the player, team member or child closely before starting to deal with them. A continuous close observation, a few concrete instructions and unconditional support at all times are hallmarks of an effective Coach, CEO and a Parent.

Share your experience here or on Facebook if you feel that your parenting experience adds to your leadership / coaching role.

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Dr. Swati Lodha is an Author, Entrepreneur, Motivational Speaker, Parenting expert based in Mumbai. Having written Bestsellers like Come on get set go  &  Why Women are What they are, her book on Parenting will be published soon. Currently, she is running Life Lemonade which offers unique Training Programs on Life Transformation, High Performance Leadership, Women Issues and Parenting.

Connect with Dr. Swati Lodha on Linkedin, Twitter @drswatilodha Facebook

Also read her best articles here!

A Start up called Marriage

MarriageEveryone is raving about startups as the new poster event to cling to.

We have always been aware about our problems. As we are running out of options, we have to try find smart, new solutions to the weary, nagging old problems.

The new start up Gods are emitting gyan – Be passionate about your idea, give it everything and take risks. If you fail, laugh at yourself and pine for more passion next time.

A start up is defined as an undertaking that has recently begun operation, is working to solve a problem where success is not guaranteed.

A marriage is pretty similar to a start up when two cofounders walk down the aisle or take saath pheras. The cofounders try to find the solution to the oldest problem – how to find love, how to keep falling in love with the same person over and over again, how to stay happy & enriched as scaling up happens with children coming and expectations rising.

The startup called marriage has cofounders who are the main investors and prime customers too. With passion, perseverance and patience, the cofounders can reduce the failure rate of this startup.

This startup is unique as the success rate is highest in the first go. Roughly, 40% of first marriages go kaput in the US, while nearly two third of second marriages and three fourth of third marriages fail. Interestingly, in business start ups, likelihood of a second startup to succeed is more than first and a third start up has more chances to succeed than the second one.

Though it is difficult to get this data in India, it would certainly be a pleasure if the success rate of first startup in marriage remains high. (According to www.bbc.com/news/world-south-asia-12094360 the divorce rate has doubled in India in last five years)

Borrowed from Business start ups, some mantras for success of this startup called marriage are:

  1. Team First, Ego Last: Both the Co-Founders need to remind themselves that they are a team with collective interest and individual egos need to be cut to right size. Every individual is opinionated and self contained these days. If they are marrying late, the personalities are rigidly chalked out and there is little space for flexibility and adaptability. As they are high on financial independence and low on time and patience, building up team spirit is difficult. Unless a marriage startup decides to work as a team, the failure is round the corner.
  1. Innovation and Vision: Before starting, the Co-Founders or Partners need to ask themselves – what makes them click together? Can they visualize a long term future?

The stereotypical marriage in India with strict role boundaries like a homemaker woman and a breadwinner husband needs an overhaul. Excessive expectations from one partner in a marriage do not work anymore. A serious innovative upbringing is required by parents especially for boys who cannot expect their would –be- wives to look after them as kids. A balanced upbringing is needed where the girls and the boys are taught to shoulder domestic and professional responsibilities equally, where parents of both cofounders are equally respected, where aspirations and ambitions are equally welcomed. A change in the mindset regarding expectations from marriage will be a bigger innovation than an uber or a flipkart.

  1. Conscious Scaling up: Though businesses consider speedy scaling up as a customary sign of growth, we see quick cash burning and a super quick folding of businesses too. It is very important to scale up after putting conscious thought into it.

To scale up a marriage is to have children or start a business together or getting into activities that require complete involvement and investment into each other.

Both the partners should ponder:

  1. Do we want children and are we ready to become parents?
  2. Are we ready to pool in our financial and emotional resources to build something for lifetime?
  3. Are we ready to meet new challenges everyday which might try our patience and mutual trust?
  1. Meet the Mentors: Incubators, accelerators, angel investors, venture capitalists guide the start ups through their immersion programs and investment. They provide significant help in energizing the start up ecosystems.

Similarly, it helps to take guidance from counselors, like minded groups, parents (if their startup was successful) and senior happy family owners. It is always better to prepare for the new roles – of a spouse and eventually, perhaps of a parent. When we prepare for every test, every interview, every start up meet, why not prepare for these roles that we would play for lifetime.

Observe the veterans who have been betting successfully on the marriage pitch for years, talk to happy parents and content grandparents who have invested themselves consistently into their family accounts.

  1. Create a Culture: Culture refers to the ideas, customs and social behavior of a particular person / society / organisation.

Each organisation believes in some fundamental values, core principles and acceptable norms.

Each marriage should gradually build up a cumulative deposit of knowledge, experiences resulting into formation of beliefs, attitudes and values to grow into a family with valuable, dependable, social relationships to bank on.

It will be heartening to see more of these startups succeed.

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References:

  1. http://www.ndtv.com/offbeat/this-startup-bets-up-to-10-000-that-your-marriage-will-end-badly-1256309

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Dr. Swati Lodha is an Author, Entrepreneur, Motivational Speaker, Parenting expert based in Mumbai. Having written Bestsellers like Come on get set go  &  Why Women are What they are, her book on Parenting will be published soon. Currently, she is running Life Lemonade which offers unique Training Programs on Life Transformation, High Performance Leadership, Women Issues and Parenting.

Connect with Dr. Swati Lodha on Linkedin, Twitter @drswatilodha Facebook 

Also read her best articles here!