My Latest article that was first published on BabyDestination on 17th May, 2016
We generally believe that our thoughts make our words and our words make our actions. We act after we think. But most of our thoughts are shrouded in a fear of ‘what if’ before we act.
Before sitting for an exam or interview, we think ‘what if I don’t get through’.
Before investing our money in a business, we think ‘what if I lose it?’
Before admitting our love for someone, we think ‘what if he/she rejects me?’
Before delivering a speech, we think ‘what if I get ridiculed?’
It is alright to think about worst case scenarios but fretting over negative outcomes all the time is like inviting ripples of fear in the river of our life.
We not only think about negative ‘what if’s’ we tend to start believing them to an extent that it impacts our performance.
The more we think about negative outcomes, the more fearful we become.
Fearful individuals are fearful parents.
Super Parents are parents who value achievement and splendid performance in every walk of life. For them, outcome matters.
As a result, they suffer from fear of future. They scare their children to an extent that they become permanently anxious. Their expectations skyrocket and their children feel the pressure of those expectations. They start feeling that failure is a crime and should be avoided.
Bulletproof Parents protect their children from every obstacle and try to make their life problem free. They are scared that something might harm their children. Fear of pain, physical or emotional makes them over cautious. Their fear makes their children indecisive and dependent on their parents.
Yes Parents want to be known as cool, understanding parents who agree to everything that their children do or demand. They suffer from a fear of rejection by their own kids. As a result, children become overconfident and unrealistic. They don’t learn to face harsh realities of the ways of the world.
Designer Parents believe in luxury as a synonym for life. They value product experiences which are the most expensive and they give you a social edge. They provide the most expensive lifestyle for their children as they suffer from fear of social pressure. They want to establish their uniqueness by showing off their purchasing power. Their children are materialistic and brand conscious. They fear misery and frugality as they feel comfortable in excesses only.
Polarised Parents value their individuality more than anything else. As a result, they fear the loss of their freedom if they make a cohesive parenting plan. They rigidly stick to their opinions and fail to mentor their children. The confused children are lonely and fear being left hanging on a cliff.
Think if you are fearful as a Parent. Ask yourself if most of your decisions germinate from a seed of fear.
Stop raising your children with a daily dose of fear. Your fearful upbringing will surely make your children risk averse and mediocre which would be the biggest disservice to them and the nation.
Let go of the Fear of Failure. Teach them to welcome Failure.
Let go of the Fear of Pain. Teach them to stand up to turmoil.
Let go of the Fear of Rejection. Teach them to be confident.
Let go of the Fear of Loss of Freedom. Teach them to empathize and adapt.
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