“Will he/she get mad at me? Will he/she judge me and laugh at me? Will he/she make me feel stupid and useless? How do I make him/her happy? Will he/she leave me?”
Do we come across these thoughts often? It might be any relationship which makes us think like that. It could be your parent, your spouse, your friend or your boss.
These thoughts signal that we are spending our lives with people who don’t bring out the best in us.
Our intentions, as parents, as spouse, as superiors, as friends might be to help our kids, spouse, subordinates and friends but we might not be getting the right results.
Psychiatrists and counselors in Mumbai claim that children as young as six years are showing signs of depression. Psychiatrist Dr. Harish Shetty meets at least one child every day with a strong tendency to die. Children are stressed more due to pressure from school and parents, cyber bullying and reaching early maturity.
As parents, are we bringing out the best in our children?
Childhood is not a parking lot for adulthood. We parents and teachers are guilty of curtailing the childhood and compressing it too. We curtail their childhood by making them compete early, by handing over the gadgets at a ridiculously early age. We compress their childhood by packing in innumerable structured activities to make them a master of piano, soccer and abacus. Can we find ways to bring out their imagination, bewilderment and a sense of happiness in the present?
Ask your spouse if he/she feels facilitated, cooperated and encouraged by your words and deeds.
During my women empowerment workshops, I come across brilliant women who have given up on their enterprising selves owing to lack of understanding and support from their partners and families. Our social conditioning and polarized expectations don’t bring out the best in us.
The tech orientation program offered by MotherCoders (http://www.mothercoders.org/)to young mothers is an exceptional move to bring out the best in these talented women who can, give an opportunity, balance computing with childcare.
As leaders, do we invest enough time in our team to figure out the kind of people they are, the kind of priorities they have?
It is generally said that people join organisations but leave their bosses. If a superior stifles your mind, hurts your self esteem or manipulate situations, you will be sulking and fretting over petty issues.
Do you feel embittered and helpless in your important relationships?
It is time to remind yourself that you need to spend your time and energy with those who empower you, embolden you to realize your potential – personally, socially & professionally.
“Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death.” – Rumi