She Died While She Was Alive

Being Alive

 

This is be the one line epitaph I intend to have engraved on every heart when I say my final good bye.

The dictionary meaning of the word “Life’ revolves around:

  1. The condition of being alive.
  2. The period for which an organism exists.
  3. The feeling of vitality, energy and growth.

If one mechanically wants to go through the drudgery of ticking the boxes, you can certainly tick on (b), but you might need to check the coordinates of your event called life before ticking on (a) and (c).

From an ailing bed ridden man to a high flying CEO, all of us certainly exist for a period called life. We exist till we breathe. It gives us immense satisfaction, though unconscious, that we are a part of an ever surprising saga called life.

Do we actually flex our mental muscles to find out other signs of being alive apart from breathing and being there?

The condition of being alive assumes that we are mindful of what is happening inside and outside us.

Do we think about how efficiently our bones, muscles, glands, cells and viscera work every second unless we feel a pain somewhere?

We only pay attention to the wondrous working of our body when it gives us some discomfort. Till then, we use it day in and day out without being ‘alert’ or ‘mindful’.

We create an eternity of urgency around our mundane lives giving a childish impression to ourselves of being very busy in something of real importance. We run through the alleys of our occupied brain at a high speed without having any time to find out what occupies the crevices of the brain.

Our insecurities keep us glued to a life which might be more close to ‘mere existence’ than ‘energy or vitality’ of any kind.

Fear of losing what we have, fear of being judged, ridiculed or written off, and fear of failure keeps us bonded to an existence which doesn’t let us grow or evolve.

The repetitive boredom can erode our mental, emotional faculties if we don’t make an attempt to recharge and reignite our batteries.

I don’t mind being unhappy or sad because feeling unhappy is better than feeling nothing.

I think about ninety year old Mahashweta Devi, the legendary author and activist who lived a vital life till her last breath. She survived her two divorces and fought indecisive, often hopeless battles for tribals. Taking all setbacks in her stride, she never stopped persisting. Then, my thought goes towards those millennials who write a suicide note and say good bye. We are failing as a society, as a community to propagate liveliness of life.

We must choose life for life, not for being a happy life or sad life.

It is a crime to be living a day without feeling kicked about it. It is alright to feel depressed or useless as long as it pushes us to stay alive to make it better.

As an individual, I owe it to myself to be mindful of each day I live. I intend to feel varied emotions every hour. I choose to feel alive.

As a parent, I owe it to my children to make them understand the difference between ‘living life’ and ‘leading life’. I want them to feel the tangy taste of failure and bitter taste of anger along with sweet/savoury taste of happiness. I wish to refine their taste buds to enjoy all tastes of life. I wish them to wait and yearn for different tastes each day rather than safely stick to one taste that they like.

Being alive everyday means loving life every day in whatever form it chooses to surprise us. Being alive every day is a challenge to die for.

Choose it now.

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Are you bringing out the best in me?

Extraordinary“Will he/she get mad at me? Will he/she judge me and laugh at me? Will he/she make me feel stupid and useless? How do I make him/her happy? Will he/she leave me?”

Do we come across these thoughts often? It might be any relationship which makes us think like that. It could be your parent, your spouse, your friend or your boss.

These thoughts signal that we are spending our lives with people who don’t bring out the best in us.

Our intentions, as parents, as spouse, as superiors, as friends might be to help our kids, spouse, subordinates and friends but we might not be getting the right results.

Psychiatrists and counselors in Mumbai claim that children as young as six years are showing signs of depression. Psychiatrist Dr. Harish Shetty meets at least one child every day with a strong tendency to die. Children are stressed more due to pressure from school and parents, cyber bullying and reaching early maturity.

As parents, are we bringing out the best in our children?

Childhood is not a parking lot for adulthood. We parents and teachers are guilty of curtailing the childhood and compressing it too. We curtail their childhood by making them compete early, by handing over the gadgets at a ridiculously early age. We compress their childhood by packing in innumerable structured activities to make them a master of piano, soccer and abacus. Can we find ways to bring out their imagination, bewilderment and a sense of happiness in the present?

Ask your spouse if he/she feels facilitated, cooperated and encouraged by your words and deeds.

During my women empowerment workshops, I come across brilliant women who have given up on their enterprising selves owing to lack of understanding and support from their partners and families. Our social conditioning and polarized expectations don’t bring out the best in us.

The tech orientation program offered by MotherCoders  (http://www.mothercoders.org/)to young mothers is an exceptional move to bring out the best in these talented women who can, give an opportunity, balance computing with childcare.

As leaders, do we invest enough time in our team to figure out the kind of people they are, the kind of priorities they have?  

It is generally said that people join organisations but leave their bosses. If a superior stifles your mind, hurts your self esteem or manipulate situations, you will be sulking and fretting over petty issues.

Do you feel embittered and helpless in your important relationships?

It is time to remind yourself that you need to spend your time and energy with those who empower you, embolden you to realize your potential – personally, socially & professionally.

“Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death.” – Rumi

References:

  1. http://epaperbeta.timesofindia.com/index.aspx?eid=31804&dt=20151216
  2. http://www.mothercoders.org/
  3. http://peacefulrivers.homestead.com/rumipoetry1.html