5 Ways to be a SPICE Parent


SPICE is a sum of our complete inner infrastructure put to use together. It is a ‘call to action’ for all the members of our internal team.

Do you know what an internal team (IT) is?

An internal team comprises of all our pieces, all the roles that we predominantly play in our lives.

Your internal team will have the professional in you, the partner in you, the parent in you and the person in you.

Spicing your life means making all these pieces work at their best, spontaneously, simultaneously and substantially.

SPICE is a Sum of Partner, Parent, Professional, and Person In you to Create Excellence

A SPICE individual would excel as a professional, a partner, a parent as well as a person by giving equal importance to all the roles that he/she plays.

To be a SPICE Parent, own your PARENT role, be mindful of being a father/mother as much as being an entrepreneur or a doctor.

To be a SPICE parent, remember that you are a constant HERO to someone. Your kids are the permanent audience for your ‘Parent Performance’, so pull yourself up each time you are with them.

To be a SPICE parent, let your parental power points cross-pollinate into your other roles. Let your strengths as a father or a mother i.e. patience, discipline, empathy, spill over to the professional and partner domains.

Five priceless powers that spice parents must have are:

  1. SPICE Parents are ‘Passionate Parents’ – “I am a good dad but my wife is a world-class Mom”, says entrepreneur – speaker Ed Mylett. A world-class parent just shows up each minute, every hour, and every day.

They exercise energetically, eat and feed feistily, engage with people positively and sleep happily.

Their passion tilts towards happiness and not competition. My passionate concern as a mother is to enable my kid to be in a positive, happy, stress-free space.

I want them to pursue a smile, not a scorecard. If I gift them a passion for living life, they will eventually find something to be passionate about.

  1. SPICE Parents are ‘Patient Parents’ – Just imagine your face when your phone shows ‘connecting….’ Or ‘downloading….’ for a few seconds while your patience slips by. Just imagine how you fidget when you stand in a queue because ‘waiting’ is so obsolete.

Imagine Rahul Dravid on the crease, imagine Rahul Dravid as a Coach and you realize how powerful patience is.

A patient parent knows when to slap a smile on his face despite anger raging inside and gradually the inner ire melts and real peace pervades the face.

A patient parent knows how to gulp the hurtful words dancing on the tip of the tongue so that the damage done by a child is controlled not spread.

A patient parent would not ‘fix-up’ things but let them ‘flow’. He stays around but not jumps in.

When a person decides to cross-pollinate the power of patience, he will certainly be more encouraging of his team and more accepting of his partner.

  1. SPICE Parents are ‘Persuasive Parents’ – These parents are strategically smart people who observe their children and nudge them towards ‘What would be apt for them’.

My husband and father in law love to sing and I play tabla while my mother in law plays the harmonium and we all do it for joy. When my daughter was four years old, we bought a synthesizer and let her fiddle with it. As she kept punching the notes and kept smiling, we invited a very gentle guy who didn’t work as a music teacher but sang for joy. He played with her and she learned to create music before learning to read or write.

IMG_0855She has finished her B.A. in Hindustani Classical Music at an age of 18 and sings not to compete but for herself.

SPICE parents persuade their children to seek meaningfulness and mindfulness in the long run.

Strong persuasion for ‘firework experiences’ gives euphoric meaning to life, not everlasting meaning.

Indra Nooyi has nudged her Company Pepsico towards becoming a ‘nutrition’ organization from a ‘snack n cola’ behemoth. This is the transition from momentary happiness to long-term mindfulness. That is what a SPICE parent would reap in her child.

  1. SPICE Parents are ‘Present Parents’ – During the majority of my Parenting Workshops, I can count the number of fathers who show up on the fingers of one hand.

Of all ridiculous things, the most ridiculous seems to me, is to be busy, said Soren Kierkegaard. Fathers and mothers, as professionals and homemakers excel at being busy. As a result, their presence in many domains is fairly restricted.

People who let anyone role rule their life play their other roles absentmindedly and absent bodily. A person who marches ahead only with his/her professional piece forgets about being a partner and a parent.

A person who clings only to his/her partner piece would let his/her professional dreams wither away. Remember Natasha (Kalki Koechlin) from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara?

Shark Tank jury member Daymond John admits to losing his family because of his absence as a partner and a parent.

Spice parents are high on the balancing act and hence stay involved with their children. They gift ‘attention’ to their children which is the most valuable gift possible.

  1. SPICE Parents are ‘People First’ Parents – These parents put their children before themselves and are selfless. Ace shuttler and super ace coach P.Gopichand has always put his students before himself and has selflessly built a world-class infrastructure at his badminton academy. His personal goals are immersed in the greater good of the countrymen.

Similarly, ace parents would mentor their children and empower them to become happy, confident, and responsible world citizens.

SPICE is a personal disruption.

If you do not disrupt yourself now, you will be in for a surprise.

SPICE helps you to hire your best internal team to work collaboratively and cohesively for you.

It is not compartmentalizing, it is hyphenating your life.

If you write, ‘long-term’ on a paper, these are two words, when you write ‘long-term’, it becomes one word. Hyphenate your internal team professional-partner-parent-person to create the most meaningful and singular ‘You’ possible.

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